Going to trial

It's been awhile since my last post. There wasn't much going on until this week. JP and I just got back from Los Angeles. Unfortunately I had to go back for a mandatory settlement hearing. It's about an incident that I had pretty much blocked from my mind after I moved here to Nevada. It was the biggest reason for me to move out of LA. Out of sight out of mind, right? Well until they summon you for a hearing, you spend $450 to travel back, and they slap you in the face by saying they'll give you $750 for 3-4 years of suffering. For those who don't know what I'm talking about. I filed a workers comp case after I was assaulted at work and was forced to quit my job because I felt that my employer was not taking adequate measures for my welfare and safety. It's a long story that I rather not talk about and I'm not really allowed to talk about. Now that I think about it, I really should of filed a civil lawsuit. JP talked to a couple of lawyers who would of happily taken my case because I had a strong sexual harassment case. But I felt enough stress, anxiety and aggravation by the incident and how I was treated by my former employers, that I just didn't want to have to tell more people the details of what happened, especially strangers. Just talking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I even stopped going to a therapist because all I could get was group therapy. I didn't want a bunch of strangers to hear me talk about it. It would have been better for my settlement if I did go to group therapy. I just kind of went into my own world to live as a recluse instead. Anyway my lawyers were asking for $5000, not much at all, but I would of taken it just so I can moved on with my life. The defense refused and we are going to trial. I get to go back on Jan 10, 2007. I am not looking forward to it. All last night and today I've been feeling pressure in my chest and it feels like my heart is beating funny. My doctor did mention I had a heart murmur the last time he checked. Now I feel traumatized once again and I am looking for a good shrink. Don't know if that will help my case, but hopefully it will help my head.